THE
AUDIO
|
|
Big
Pussy
Man, I love the Sopranos. |
|
Dreamin'
Bout my Buddy's Girl
Try not to judge me... |
|
Drive-By
Visitors
If you pass me on the road, it might be best if you
just keep on driving. |
|
Everyday
Is Christmas
If you'd like me to celebrate Haunakuh, stop moving
it around so much. |
|
Holloween,
Seriously-- ('06)
I put a lot of pride in my costumes as a child. Not
everone shared my passion. ...Or their candy. |
|
Jury
Duty
It is your right to get a fair and speedy trial. It
is my right to overestimate my role in it. |
|
Meerkat
Manners
It didn't have to go down this way... |
|
Password
Problems
You may not be able to access this one. Damned if I
can help you. |
|
Rock - N-Roll Me
I really loved that guy. And it looks like I've killed
him. |
|
Chaka?
A Moncheechee wouldn't know a Sleestack if it bit him
on the ass. |
|
Shinichi
n Me
Enter The Dragon |
|
Treatments on the Tee-Vee
Ask your doctor if this might be right for you. |
|
Bad
Doggie
I've decided I'm a rapper. Here's a little diddy I put
together about my dog. She's bad. |
|
A
Very Charlie Brown Valentine
I decided to share the rather sordid details of how
I spent Valentine's Day this year. With a little help
from the whole gang. |
|
Words
that Sound Like...
This one’s inspired by a woman that told me,
on a date, that she works with the elderly and finds
it provocative. I know she meant ‘thought provoking’,
but the visual was already planted. |
|
Christmas
on the Road
Holiday drivers. Tis’ the Season to forget your
blinker. |
|
Commercials
I really gotta’ get out more. |
|
E-mail
Anticipation
If my “check mail” button were a real button,
it would have to be replaced constantly. |
|
Milton
Goes to the Eye Dr.
Is the shot of cold air in the eyeball really necessary? |
|
Oh
My God, it's Holloween!
Here I sit, on my bathroom floor with the lights turned
off, wishing Strawberry Shortcake would just go back
to the hell from whence she came. |
|
No,
that One's not from Santa
An epic battle for the attention of my nephews |
|
Reality
TV
Whose ‘friends & neighbors’ are these
people? Man, I’m running in the wrong circles. |
|
Show
me a Sign
So, I wasn’t supposed to turn on red while pedestrians
were in the crosswalk? Who knew? |
|
It's
Thanksgiving, Dammit!
This is the day I got a chance to sit down with the
kids from the Honeydoo Daycare Center. Lesson learned:
3-year-olds don’t care about the Holiday between
Holloween and Christmas. At all. |
|
My
Kindergarten Valentine(s)
If I knew it was fleeting, I would’ve bottled
the mojo I possessed as a child. |
