I GET A LITTLE BLOGGED DOWN

I’m going to be much better about updating this page. Religiously. Once a week, at the very least, from this point forward. On this, you have my word. And if I don’t … Umm, I hadn’t thought of that yet. If I don’t… I’m really sorry. Sometimes things come up. But I mean it; check back every week, if you’re so inclined. I will be updating often. I am thrilled to have received some emails saying, “Where the hell did your Blog go?” “You used to put new ones up there all the time.” “You’ve had the same lame story about the State Fair up there for like a month and a half.” And you’re absolutely right. ‘Cept it was more like three weeks, maybe, Jessica in Oswego… but I hear you. I’m just glad you wanted me to keep going. Sadly, in my real day to day, people don’t ask me to keep talking nearly as much as I think they should.

So be careful what you wish for… From now on, I’m going to keep a running tab of things that happen to me. Sort of like a journal… I guess. Not like a… diary or anything. Just a… y’know… journal.

Each day’s entries will have the date, so if you miss a few and feel like getting caught up, all you’ll have to do is pick up the entry where you left off… Just like you would with a regular …journal. Why do you keep thinking ‘diary’? It’s a journal, dammit.

Wednesday, September 27th—I gotta get a new toothbrush. Not because it’s too old, or doesn’t do the trick anymore. Quite the contrary. It might be the best toothbrush I’ve ever had. It’s all broken in, and some of the bristles are bent, in just the right way to get into each enameled cranny. (I floss to get the nooks.) No, I’m parting with my good ol’ brusha brusha only because I happened to stop on The Discovery Channel around three minutes after nine last night. And spent the next Fifty-six, Fifty-Seven minutes discovering the nasty things that live in and around my home and everything I touch everyday. Ohhhh, to get that hour back. It is a filthy, filthy World in which we live. I guess I always knew this. I know dust mites exist. Thanks, I’m good without seeing the close-ups again.
There were plenty of other nasties exposed too. Things I (happily) never would have thought of. Like the germs that probably live in your kitchen sponge. Yes, the very one you use to CLEAN with. Might just be the germiest thing in the whole joint. Swear to God. I was doing just fine without a dishwasher before. Now I’m considering selling my TV to buy one. Come to think of it, I don’t need to worry about this one too much. Don’t know the average life span of a sponge germ, but so much time passes between uses in my house, I imagine I outlast most of them.
The thing that concerned me most in this unfortunate expose is the reported fact that each time one flushes one’s toilet, one releases a fine toiletwater mist into the air, complete with millions of the microscopic critters that live in there. Nice, huh? Now I gotta get a new toothbrush. See, I forgot all about this show when I woke up this morning. It wasn’t until I actually flushed that, like a nightmare that just gets worse when you wake up, it came rushing back to me. I pirouetted and saw my toothbrush sitting on the sink. I lunged, with the hopes of getting it into cover. I threw it across my apartment. Did I beat the invisible germwave of poopwater? Impossible to tell. I’m not taking any chances. I’m getting a new one. Today. And one of those protective travel cases, too. Where will I keep it between uses? Dunno yet. Nowhere near the kitchen sponge, I can tell you that much.